Random

Things i wanted to tell about myself

I have been facing a very bad day since last month.i always tell i don't know what is happening to me,but i have a clean idea about what I have been facing.im in a journey right now,back to my place,small break from my hectic work.2 days I have no plan in coming 2 days.i have nobody to meet i have nothing to do there.but I'm hoping my place will be a solution for my problems.i believe it will be a healing.in the eyes of a third party  im very happy,acheived every thing having a good life style.that is correct only i finished my studies got a good job in a US company.eventhough I'm not happy in my life.im not happy.you know when you are about to fall down or something bad happening to you some scary feeling will be there!

Isn't it?but only when the above things happens.May be bad things are happening around me,thats why I'm scared all the time.

I have figured it out it is because of my mind.i think a lot i forgot to live in the real world.i would say a guy who lives in his dreams.

Heeee im writing random thoughts no connection between the sentences.dont mind

Well lets talk about this journey,as soon as I got in to the bus i started watching a movie.what else to do in a long journey.if I put my headset and listen to some random songs by looking through the window it would have been nice.

Oh god im getting more tensed I'm about to reach my place.my heart is beating like anything.normally when I cross this welcome board i feel damn happy.instead of that I feel scared now.

Why am I here again??

There is a reason after 2 months of busy schedule my company colleagues planned a trip.so I'm going with them.not really they will come after some time im going alone.i will join them as soon as thyt reach my place.plan to enjoy these days.when i say enjoy my preference will be drinks.i don't like drinking normal liquor.but i love drinking beer,it is becoming a habit now.whenever i get time I drink beer and watch some good videos or movies.after getting high i would start calling my friends are relatives we would talk for a long time,when i get bored i would hand up the call also.

The main problem im facing is unable to find my feelings.i know one feeling "sorrow"its been with me since my childhood.and happy hmmm i need to think about it actually.i was happy when I ran away from my home.when i went for higher studies i felt happy and proud.no no i should not write about my university life,i don't want to get scared.yes now you got the point my happiness and my sadness starts and ende in this university.